Redefining Normal
by Mandy Speers
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April 1, 2003 I left for Paris from JFK on Thursday, March 27th. It was to be my fifth trip so far. Arriving at JFK, I noticed the eerie calm of an almost empty airport. no lines. no people waiting around. no echo. I asked the ticket agent if the flight had been canceled. "Ah, Non", she replied. I thought that she must be joking. It was 7pm and the only other people mulling about were security personnel with bomb sniffing dogs and a group of young NYPD who were giggling and looking at me suspiciously. I glanced back at them, in the same fashion. Was I an idiot to get on the airplane? Was I asking for it? This trip was for a long weekend. Did I REALLY NEED to go? Security was rough. I had my body groped by a female security officer. She outlined the under-wire in my bra with her fingers. She demanded I remove my shoes and sit down while my bag was re-scanned and then re-scanned again. I felt positively safe in her hands and thanked her for going about her job as brilliantly as she did. I don't think she spoke much English, but she knew what I meant. Clearing security was very much like being arrested. I was guilty until proven innocent. Finding the bar directly across from my departure gate brought me joy. I wouldn't have to schlep my heavy carry-on all over the airport. At the bar, there were 2 men speaking a language I could not identify. (Danish perhaps?) There was a young couple with a toddler. I hoped the child would fall asleep before the flight, and sleep through it. I also thought it would be nice if they didn't sit anywhere near me. I had 2 glasses of wine, during which I was joined by an extremely stressed out man who was en-route to Singapore. He was almost shaking in his shoes. He was handsome and young and being sent away on business. Economy class. My journey to Paris would be more than half over by the time he touched ground in Singapore. I gave him 2 zanax and a few sleeping pills. I hope he made it safely and I hope he makes it home safely. Besides the war, we all have to worry about catching SARS. I had my evacuation mask in my carry-on...should I also have had a paper mask to protect me from SARS? Should I use my panties as a nose and mouth guard? We boarded. I had a row to myself. The flight certainly was not full. I ate dinner, had some wine, popped a sleeping pill and woke up on the ground in Paris. I groggily fetched my baggage and hailed a taxi, whose driver happily whisked me to my hotel in the 6th. I checked in and passed out, face down, for 4 hours. All good. Upon waking, i pondered if I had actually made the journey. It was sunny. Birds were chirping outside, beyond the window box filled with blooming daffodils. Ah, yes. This was the Paris I remembered. The Paris I remembered, but certainly not the world I knew. |